Thursday, June 10, 2010
::goddess lessons::
Much is made of style being made accessible, easy, and every-woman palatable. in the process, a lot of weird olsen-twin-ness/sienna miller castoff-ness tends to happen-- piling on + deliberate mismatching + this "i'm a tree! in the wiiiind!" kind of desperation of trying to marry janis joplin to a nautica model and add some owls and a hoodie to the mix, just because, damnit.
Sometimes, however, venus de milo skims terrestrial ground, cradling a cloud of lemon verbena in her embrace, leaving insistently brilliant graphite footprints in her wake, and snatching with unfettered dauntlessness the sparkle out of moonbeams themselves to rub on her decollete and pile on the crests of both shoulders.
Has anyone ever given you the clemency--
Allowed you--
to look gorgeous?
beauty is writhing, insistent, and pursued, even when it's being apologized for or avoided. 'why don't you go ahead and look pretty?' the modern day goddess seems to listlessly suggest. it's what you want anyway.
and here's a secret: looking pretty takes the same-- or even marginally less-- effort than looking fashionably un-pretty.
don't try so hard, dears. it's ok. quit skirting the issue and surrender into pretty.
It's OK to smell good. Look good. FEEL good.
Mind, you, I'd change that-- to feel GREAT.
It truly is ok. In fact, it's much preferred.
(it just looks so wearying and crazy-making to tiptoe that line-- art-deco grungy, but not too grungy, disheveled, but artfully so, iconoclastic, but en vogue, rebellious but regarded, dirty but not too dirty. being fashionable while being dirty is really hard. make it easy on yourself. pretty-making expedites the process. it is an efficient means).
you may not have the wherewithal to grow bananas on your slice of Tenerife, acquire for your Tuesday-morning viewing purposes Rembrandt and Renoir, order room-service from other countries (reputedly, pork sausages from Lodon or chili from Bevery Hills whilst in Rome), accept from the Mexican government a tasteful library of pre-Colombian art (in gratitude for placing a heart-shaped target on the map somewhere in the vicinity of Puerto Vallarta), book entire floors of hotels when getting-away-from-it-all ("it all" pertaining to the veritable marble sculptures of home dotting luxurious from Ireland to Celigny and Gstaad), stir such luminescence as to demand the renaming of the Cartier diamond in your honor, incense the globe and the powers-that-be so definitively as to find yourself condemned from the Vatican and the floor of the House of Representatives for "erotic vagrancy", or coax and drum up and beat out and break down and kill and renew and revive and revive drunken, rambling, absolutely feverish billet-douxes out of Richard Burton, until you finally kill him of whiskey-drenched heartache. Did you get the Liz Taylor referece? Ok, good.
Few of us have extravagance at our disposal, but the rest of us can maximize what we have with surprisingly little: a coy smile, an unapologetic stance, a learned dish or two, an embrace of sparse detail, unwavering acceptance of a compliment, proper usage of glassware, attention to hygiene. Indulgence in the bare + minimal things that can an entire persona, a burning legacy, create: a signature scent, a repeated use of hyacinth, a signature letter-signing (and an endorsement in promptly-written letters) a husky laugh, a not-too-revealing smile, a tunic that elicits feelings of lavish Spartan granduer, a subtly sheer item or so, candles of crushed mint, a braided hairstyle that you can whip together in a minute, a liking of sandalwood, embrocation of passion fruit + white peaches.
You know, so you're that insistent memory. That can't-get-over-her lover, or wasn't-she-decadent hostess, or isn't-she-warm-and-lovely mother, listener, giver, friend. You're the one that always conjures up the whisper of a Valencia orange, the spark of not-too-hungry touch, the thoughtfulness of an artfully adorned table, the magic of a comforting + indulgent and altogether crazy-making brand of beauty. So you're the one people can't get over, that people taste sometimes in lucid midnight dreams or sober midmorning reflections. You're that woman. That goddess. That otherworldly radiance. That memorable.
No one defines the modern day goddess more unapologetically than Padma Lakshmi, bauble- extraordinaire, foodie, chef, model + mother. Her grace needn't seem scary, unattainable, or intimidating. In fact, there are a few goddess lessons that seem about as slap-happy to put together as a school lunch sandwich, minus any crust- shaving or heart-shape pressing, but with the addition of a nice little love note and a side of apple slices.
Hope you enjoy, and find something applicable, to suit and REFORM for YOUR purposes + your inimitable you-ness.
1. Do not apologize: This woman is not afraid of her beauty. It is an unyielding and consuming largesse. It is A LOT. It's ocean, all-consuming, glittering with every angle, facet, wave-like and particulate piece of matter. It is fluid, lavish grace. In fact, her beauty is so damn much, your first inclination is nearly to laugh or to get embarrassed. But I guarantee, this woman does not giggle. This is not a giggly, shrieking, "oh, who me?" type of dame. What she has is unquestionable. She does not shrug and defer the compliment. She acknowledges her beauty, but does not attach to it. It passes through the looker unspoken, understood, and, moving on now, shall we eat? Likewise, fully assume whatever is your grandness and largesse, and please, do not argue with compliments or try to cover it up with fructose sweetness. it's kind of ingratiating.
Essentially, what we're saying is...
Act like a woman.
2. Stand up straight: Padma is model statuesque. Bigger-than-life. That does not elicit in her the undying need to go cross her arms, slump her shoulders, and invest in a stockpile of tom's or flats. She puts on the footwear of a debutante, throws it all upward and back, and no one dares to argue-- nor does she anticipate debate-cultivation. Stand up straight, sit erect, use discipline in honing your presence.
3. Comfort- Here's a really subversive idea: comfort can be luxe. Comfort and dump-fort need not be interlocked. Cleave (cling to) the notion of beauty as lavish, and cleave (tear away, severe) yourself from the insistence that it must be dirty, apologetic, oversized, or less-than. You owe yourself that. Not to try hard, but to feel liquid plasma electric AT EASE. A peasant blouse, a nicely draped jersey dress, a modal top, a lovely shell tank or silky scarf does not a hobo make, nor pain induce. beauty is easy. beauty doesn't hurt. i see nothing advantageous in hurting yourself for the sake of beauty.
4. Lick your fingers every now and then. Make yourself real. Live in your clothes. Loosen your jaw. That's the first way to relax tension. Now breathe. And let loose, just morsels at a time. You know you're going to when you get home anyway. Might as well truly live with an audience around to affix themselves to you, to rivet themselves to your boundless grace. Just keep the squealing to a minimum. An absence.
5. Nourish! Body, brain, creative appetite, spiritual tenacity. Curves fall where they will; and I'd rather be a soaring, breathlessly curved edge than a square.
6. Relax into. Much has been made of Miss Lakshmi's ballyhooed scar. It's part of the woman. Why draw attention, or call out? Jagged surface does not make an uncut diamond any less of a diamond.
7. Create a space. You get the sense that every where this woman cavorts, every suite she checks into, she brings with her lily and hyacinth, votive candle, beloved soundtrack, a creates a space of warmth and home. You get the sense that something changes in someone everytime they walk into her room-- they know she has been there. Create vast + beautiful spaces of silence around your words + in your wake.
8. Do what you want. This does not seem like a woman who takes suggestions and scarily makes adjustments to appease the critic. If she doesn't want to eat spinach leaves for lunch, she's not going to. If she hates Pilates, she won't do it, no matter how good it is for core support + inner calm. If she feels like wearing apricot, she's not going to go for blush instead to be less brash. If she would rather box than run laps, she's going to buy boxing gloves (she really does this!). If she wants to use chili instead of saffron, then that's what she'll do. Start doing what you really want and being what you really like. Hone a style. Develop a taste. If it's inconsistent, it's still immaculately yours.
9. Beauty doesn't hurt. Beauty doesn't demand. It isn't punitive. It is not cruel, and it does not demand. It does not condemn. It is not punishing. Beauty will not pain you; I see nothing advantageous about hurting yourself to be beautiful. Beauty is an easy place to be. It's a comfortable sweater to slide into. It's sensual-leaning. It seduces, you + yours. It's a warming thing to subsume. It gives light, or it isn't beauty at all.
BEAUTY SHOULD FEEL GOOD!
Whoever told you it should not, or instilled in you that belief, or made pain contingent to it, should be reprimanded.
10. Be curious. Padma always looks like she's looking-ahead. Inquiring into, rather fully-purchasing into, or selling her soul to the situation at hand. Observing and analyzing. Concocting new dishes, designs, entreprenuerial efforts, ways of beauty. Curiosity is beauty made uncomfortable but soaring.
11. Beauty is strong. It's industrial. It's doing. No new-agey mumbo-jumbo about approaching, contemplating, internalizing-- though those processes are worthwhile. Part of beauty is gumption, getting-up and getting dirty and getting to be the beautiful you want to be.
*** mid-note script: simplicity is drilled into us ad-nauseum in fashion, because its virtues are REAL. the clothes are simple. so simple. they coalesce beautifully with form. they slink, drape, slither. they aren't overbearingly grungy, blouse-y, architectural, statement-making, contrived. they are essentially cotton tanks, silk chemises, boyfriend clothes, jersey-modal mixes, delicate jewels. what you see here is a woman giving off light, not a blouse, or a woman in a dress, or a dress on a woman. it's evanescent. it's so not anything to do with what she has on (though we don't want to discourage you from clothes-buying; it kinda keeps us afloat). The makeup is balmy, kissed, flushed, contouring, and really just heightening-- nothing too drastic or high-fashion. In the season, she is sun-graced; during the colder months, she's a little more porcelain-washed. Nothing too striving about it. There's an evident lack of striving, and, of note, artificiality.
Simplicity is insistence on something more. It's the woman's full-fledged belief in herSELF.
12. Beauty should be beautiful. It should ALWAYS be beautiful.
that's all. interpret it as you will, rag-a-muffins.
and here's a showcase of padma style through the years! sexiness that's never gimmicky. the woman makes a trout look lovely. http://www.bravotv.com/top-chef/padma-through-the-years
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